You may want to look no further, for the tale below is disgusting, horrifying and all together uncouth.
Don't say I didn't warn you…
Dude, really? Ok…
"Oh man, I know that sound."
sighs
"Let's get out of here so I can change your brother."
and we did. Sloooooooooooooowly. Some chick decided to cut in line. I said something but dropped it in a bid to avoid setting a very loud, very colorful, very bad example for the 3 kiddos with me and the one with her.
Then, oh then, we finally make it to the parking lot. And there I am thinking that noise can from baby Bo so I lift toddler Levi up out of the double stroller and discovered poop running down his legs. Correction, it's not just running down his legs but it's also filled the bottom half of his shirt, run down into one shoe and puddled in the stroller.
Never let your child consume 7 prunes in one day, NEVER. Even if you feel to lazy to pin them down and jam your fingers in their mouth to pry them back out. Never. The end result is far more work then the initial work of prevention.
On that gray, chilly, overcast day I stripped my son down to his bare butt in the parking lot of Kohls. I dumped my purchases out on the front seat and filled 2 bags- one with the useless diaper and the other with his clothes. I'm no hero and would have tossed his clothing but the shirt was brand new and the pants so indispensable he will probably be wearing them as ankle warmers when he's 23.
Poor fellow stood naked with prickled goose flesh wailing NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO as I fought valiantly to scrub him down with wipes before he could thrash away and scamper into the warm safety of the car. And his wailing attracted an audience, one that drifted over, interested to see why I had a naked child pinned against the sliding door of my van.
"We're fine" I shouted with a dismissive wave of my hand and I scrubbed on. It took an entire package of Huggies Clean Team to bring the situation back under control
Dear god, bless you for Huggies Clean Team. They are like 4 wipes in one. They are like batman/superman/Hulk strength butt wipes. In all that poo, nary a molecule landed on me thanks to them. Amen. oh and PS please send me more coupons and sales so I can get them for free again, double amen
With Levi finally somewhat clean and diapered, I used old mail- yes several of the 3,000 pieces of political crap mail to scoop the poop from the stroller seat before folding it up and driving homeward with the smell of butt blowout clinging to my face.
It was a fantastical majestic outing and if anyone out there is worried about their child's butt blockage, apparently 7 prunes is the precise cure for a nearly 2 year old.
Don't say I didn't warn you…Dude, really? Ok…
"Oh man, I know that sound."
sighs
"Let's get out of here so I can change your brother."
and we did. Sloooooooooooooowly. Some chick decided to cut in line. I said something but dropped it in a bid to avoid setting a very loud, very colorful, very bad example for the 3 kiddos with me and the one with her.
Then, oh then, we finally make it to the parking lot. And there I am thinking that noise can from baby Bo so I lift toddler Levi up out of the double stroller and discovered poop running down his legs. Correction, it's not just running down his legs but it's also filled the bottom half of his shirt, run down into one shoe and puddled in the stroller.
Never let your child consume 7 prunes in one day, NEVER. Even if you feel to lazy to pin them down and jam your fingers in their mouth to pry them back out. Never. The end result is far more work then the initial work of prevention.
On that gray, chilly, overcast day I stripped my son down to his bare butt in the parking lot of Kohls. I dumped my purchases out on the front seat and filled 2 bags- one with the useless diaper and the other with his clothes. I'm no hero and would have tossed his clothing but the shirt was brand new and the pants so indispensable he will probably be wearing them as ankle warmers when he's 23.
Poor fellow stood naked with prickled goose flesh wailing NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO as I fought valiantly to scrub him down with wipes before he could thrash away and scamper into the warm safety of the car. And his wailing attracted an audience, one that drifted over, interested to see why I had a naked child pinned against the sliding door of my van.
"We're fine" I shouted with a dismissive wave of my hand and I scrubbed on. It took an entire package of Huggies Clean Team to bring the situation back under control
Dear god, bless you for Huggies Clean Team. They are like 4 wipes in one. They are like batman/superman/Hulk strength butt wipes. In all that poo, nary a molecule landed on me thanks to them. Amen. oh and PS please send me more coupons and sales so I can get them for free again, double amen
With Levi finally somewhat clean and diapered, I used old mail- yes several of the 3,000 pieces of political crap mail to scoop the poop from the stroller seat before folding it up and driving homeward with the smell of butt blowout clinging to my face.
It was a fantastical majestic outing and if anyone out there is worried about their child's butt blockage, apparently 7 prunes is the precise cure for a nearly 2 year old.
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