2009-02-17

How to keep the love alive

Q: I've been married for two years. We've lost that initial spark. Don't get me wrong. My husband is great, but I just don't feel in love with him anymore. Is there something wrong with me?! Can we keep the love alive?


-- Falling out of love


A: Dear Falling Out of Love,


Some of the initial spark in any relationship is bound to fade over time. Those palpations you get in your chest and the total body tinglies? They only last for a certain period of time. But you can keep the love alive, and even rekindle some of the love you've lost.

Here's how:


1.    Envision your perfect marriage. What does your husband do and not do? How do you feel? What types of things do you do together? Once you know what you want, communicate those desires to your husband. Chances are, he'll be amenable.


2.     Keep dating. Get dressed up and go out to dinner together. Go to movies together. Go on romantic vacations together.


3.    Write love letters. Once or twice a year, write down everything you love about your spouse. Ask him to do the same for you. Then exchange the letters.


4.    Hug at least once a day.


5.    Flirt with each other. Remind your husband that you adore his male attention. Ask him to undress you with his eyes, give your rear those little love taps, and generally do all of the things he used to do when you first met. Do the same for him.


6.    Be creative in the bedroom. Take turns coming up with new positions, techniques, and locations.

Keeping the love alive is really a matter of remembering to love each other everyday. Keep doing all of the things you did when you fell in love, and you'll be able to stay in love, too.

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